Like most sane humans, sometimes I am happy and sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I like stuff and sometimes I don’t. And when I don’t, I feel the need to rant mindlessly and endlessly, no matter how minor the annoyance. So now I present to you a smorgasbord of complaints.
ohmygod. I hate CAPTCHA. And anything that uses its interface. At first, it was normal and reasonable. Put a squiggly line in the middle of some words so bots can’t use “segmentation” to decipher the meaning. The words aren’t warped much and are in a perfectly readable font. Most of all, they’re WORDS. At this point, I was fine with CAPTCHA. But as technology got smarter, CAPTCHA had to adapt, and that meant warping the jumble of letters and numbers more…
Okay, fine. Maybe I exaggerated a LITTLE bit. But still. I’m sure that robots can’t read this stuff, but neither can I. Prove that you’re human? Prove you have superhuman crap-deciphering chips implanted in your eyes.
Slow App Loading Screens
This is by far the pettiest of complaints by anyone’s scale, and nonetheless it irritates me to insanity. Don’t you just hate it when you want to play Draw Something, but that stupid pencil logo takes FOREVER to transition to the actual game screen? No? Just me? Fine. But seriously, slow loading screens are just a turnoff in an app. I’ve stopped using apps just because I’m too lazy to wait through the loading screen. Pop-up ads? Sure. Laggy games? No problem. And yet somehow, it’s the minute-long loading screen that deters me from using an app. I guess this shows something about how useful first impressions are. And about my patience level.
Bad Grammar Online
And I don’t mean typos. Everyone makes typos. Just please strain your half-dead brain cells just a little bit more to remember simple grammar rules you learned in third grade. Not fancy stuff with correct usage of gerunds and passive voice, but simple your/you’re and there/their/they’re. If you respond “your welcome” when someone says thank you, you will have pissed me off so much, no matter how pleasant your intentions. YOUR WELCOME? OR MY WELCOME? OR HIS WELCOME? SHARE THE WELCOME, GUYS. And just not writing normally. I swear, not capitalizing ANYTHING is way better than people who go “Today I Failed My English Test . I Really Wonder Why .” Don’t put spaces before punctuation marks–just don’t. You know those annoying facebook friends who type like that (not to mention embellished with squiggles that don’t mean anything~~), thinking that the meaningless “deep reflections” about their relationship will sound more important. And please don’t say “pplz” or “lolz.” Zs do not make you cool. Z is for Zero. Zero is how cool you are when you say that. “ZOMGZ!” does not make your opinion any better than someone who says “OMG!” (psst. “swag” is not an excuse for bad grammar, as the following person doesn’t seem to realize)
or anything else, for that matter.
Sometimes YOLO is worth saying. I mean, it’s not like everyone thought we all lived twice before YOLO, but it would work in some situations (A good old-fashioned “carpe diem” would be fine too, and you’d sound a hell of a lot smarter).
When YOLO is okay:
“Just ziplined across part of the Amazon rainforest. #yolo”
“Spending a day walking through Venice without a map or a plan. #yolo”
When YOLO is not okay:
“Got a caramel macchiato at starbuckssss! <33 #YOLO #SWAG”
“went 2 see avengerz @ da moviez! yoloo!”
If I accidentally kick the side of the computer when I’m sitting, my computer will shut down. Enough said; you can see why this might bother me.
Now, you probably consider me a very pessimistic person. To prove that, in fact, I DO have a sunny side (hey, this is called “sunstreakedworld”), sometime next week I’ll be posting things in life that I just can’t get enough of. Much appreciated that you bore with me through this rant.